Repositioning for love sake…

So many people value relationships as if it’s everything life entails. When it comes to marital relationship some people ask if it is truly possible to get what you really want in a relationship. And I daresay yes and No! You get what you are prepared for, and what you never imagined you will! Nevertheless, you will need a marital relationship somewhere down the road. There is one common thing I have heard people who are searching for suitors were told to do. I tell them to do the same thing; however I always advice further by telling them to actually describe their kind of person but not just for the sake of putting it down in black and white on paper as if engraved stones. I advice that, they should not be rigid concerning the details on such paper…I tell them to paint their ideal suitor’s attributes clearly on paper but never describe and expect a perfect figure. The reason for that is that I have found out that just like me; many people may be confused at first about finding their mates. While I was still single; I did not know what I wanted in a relationship. I was confused at first. I was just wishing for the best in my entire search. I was just hoping it turns out well. However, I determined to “prepare” myself to hook the best possible mate that may fit my lifestyle irrespective of who she turns out to be. However, my guess was not enough…I missed it more than once before I got delivered from day dreaming the most ideal experience. You may want to ask that why must we paint the ideal suitors clearly firstly? It’s that our desires might be clarified. So that what is in our mind can be revealed to us [ourselves]. This is so that we can know what we may likely get. Moreover, in order to avoid getting something contrary to the expected desire. When we write down the description of who we want; we give a command, an instruction to our hearts. We instruct our own mind and spirit to chase the exact picture that is put down. Our subconscious goes to work of itself and their ultimate search is our respective mates!

The truth is this. By describing who we want to marry on paper. We have actually described our own self or/and who we want to become, who we may become later. This description will help us get to an understanding of ourselves better. What is lacking in us that we are trying to fill up. And sometimes, they are actually what others are also looking out for in us. We would have shot ourselves in the foot if we will only expect it from others and not prepare to give it to them. It is not just in knowing what fits us but who we should desire to fit in with? This will really help us to make necessary changes that will suit our suitors. Once they have appeared. The ideal person described on a paper is who you need to strive to become. This is likely who you may never meet especially if you are looking out for it in others rather than look inwards to change into that person yourself. Becoming the person who you want to marry is changing your attitude. If all you do is to write it down for your subconscious without striving at changing into the person on your own. You will record that information and get frustrated waiting while for the person to show up. Why? Because you will be judgmental and critic of all that show up at your love-door. You will find fault in almost everyone that you meet immediately. It may even get worst that you may think that your kind of person does not exist or they are never around you. You will go out everyday thinking it is impossible to meet that person.

However, if you work on yourself with that information and begin your love search process patiently but actively; you will find that person you dream of marrying. After meeting people who have tried to describe their kind of suitor-to-be but who are not seeing any result at all. I ask them that how much time are they giving to networking, meeting new people, volunteering, serving others, joining causes, going out. In what ways are they socializing? We must realize that it matters how we socialize, where exactly do we socialize and when? How do I mean? If after you have sincerely answered the following questions and still not seeing any result yet; then you would have to check how much, how hard and how long do you pray for who you want to marry? Do you think that with the way you are presently living your life; you can really meet someone of such description and caliber? A quote says: “If a man cannot change a situation; the best thing is to change his own self.” Considering where you go daily; do you think people of such description are found there? Why do you go there, who do you spend most of your time with? Does it correlate with who and what you have on paper? Can the person you describe on paper come over to meet you there at the place you spend most of your time? If no is your answer? Then it is time to change your life! Change your lifestyle, habit, hobbies, et.al. If your answer is no; then its time to relocate to a place where you can meet that person or you deliberately go out to visit such places where you can meet him/her. Change can be difficult but if you are so sure concerning the picture of your desired mate. You are on the route there once you change where you spend most of your time and with who you spend most of your quality time. It is time for repositioning. This is what the law of repositioning is all about. Do you really know what you want? To know who and what you want; you need to really know who you are before you can know who will blend with you…Do you really know how to get who you want? How can I get what I want? How to get what you want? You may need to upgrade your life, change yourself, and become self aware, attractive, friendly. Everyone needs a friend; you need to be warm and pleasant person. Be someone who is more interested in other people than in himself or herself. You need to make yourself into one whom everybody wants to be around. Become vast, be advanced, wise and someone everybody wants to recommend for others to meet, and hang around with. Be generous, kind and caring. Don’t ask too much from people but always look out for ways to give to them. Put on smile more often. Become genuinely concerned about how it’s going with other people. Be concerned about opposite sex. Some people avoid relating with opposite sex yet they want to marry…Contrary to the common saying that the quickest way to an uncommon man’s heart is through his belly; it is through his dreams and visions. He is more drawn towards a lady who can support and help to further his cause, ideas and ideals. Not just his belly!

You may want to ask that how can I go for what I want? Maximize opportunity of every meeting with people. If you have found him or her; try to become friends. Then, always try to part with good feeling, leave a positive impression. This does not have to be forcefully made but consciously done; till it becomes second nature. You can learn this by practice. In the process of going for what they want some people pretend when in actual fact they are interested in a person. They say no when they mean to say yes. Be true to yourself. Some people ask their friends whether or not to marry a person they love in their heart. You need to ask God only and not your friend. Your friend may be jealous and therefore advise you wrongly.

You may want to ask: where can I find what I want. I daresay don’t go to mosque if you want to marry a pastor. Don’t go to a strip bar, if you want a religious mate. Don’t go to studio if you are not trying to date an artiste. Visit a gym, register there; if you want a physically built lover. Be the change you want to see.

You may want to ask that how will I know that I have gotten what I want?A Chinese quote says that “when we get near home, it will appear.” By the time you get there, you will know that you are there; you will be fulfilled and happy, you may not have all the money in the world, but you will have peace. Does that mean that you will not feel like seeking someone else? Does that put an end to all desire? No! But you will choose not to seek further; in order to protect what and who you already got. You will direct your desire at your lover forever by choosing to consciously date him/her forever…You may say that: but I don’t want to make a mistake of dating a wrong person. This is a common saying amongst singles; people don’t want to make any mistake, the only way we learn to make a good decision is through our bad decisions. The lessons from the bad decisions we have made; are sometimes the guide into good decisions. But you cannot become un-married once you are married. So what you can do in order not to make a costly mistake is to pray. You can’t keep your life on the hold, you have to act and make one decision. Prayerfully put your best into it and see how it goes. When you are in a wrong relationship you will know, then you will leave, but that should not be an excuse for not going into one…How to attract what you want is by becoming a broad minded. Make yourself into what and who you want to marry. Work on your own self as if a raw material. Read books, listen to self help, personal development audio CDs, tapes, read the scripture to sharpen up your spirit more. Work on your personality. Dress well neat. Dress attractive and modestly. People will see you physically first before they appreciate what is inside of you. If you don’t talk, I may not know what is inside you; but I can conclude about who you are through the way I see you dressed. Absorb what you’ve got. Become an absorbent of love. This is by not letting go of your relationship. Don’t allow any little fox to spoil your vine. Tend it consciously look after your relationship. Look out more and more for his or her interest .its usually harder to sustain heights, relationship, fortune because we tend to relax and become numb to the things we did to get there.

However, when we become inconsiderate of the feelings of the people we claim to truly love. When we neglect those who have actually done so much for us; then relationship breaks, many things are lost, of all those things; the irredeemable lost of all is the time invested. this is why we must watch our relationship closely for moulds, when it start getting moldy, it means we are not taking note, we are not taking care of important areas; it should be noted that relationships don’t break in one day; it happens gradually. Retaining what you have gotten is important. It’s usually a challenge for most people to retain what belongs to them [or what should have belonged to them] Attitude is one of the how to retain what you have gotten. Prayer is another. Don’t let your emotion get the best of you. Don’t give a foothold to the devil; communicate! Communicate! And communicate! Learn it; be a good listener; be a giver; the process will continue almost all over again as if you are just trying to woo the person all over again; you need to remake the bed of love, its like baking a cake; you will have to mix all the ingredients all over as you did while trying to win his heart; express yourself to him/her let the person feel loved and important. Don’t delay any compliment till another day say it now; give it now! Don’t postpone that visit, gift, give it now. Learn to say sorry when you are wrong; many relationships have broken up just because of that three letter word. Apologies don’t make you cheap or weak; it means you are strong enough to be soft. Pride makes people avoid apologies; it makes us loose much more in the end. Don’t let your ego get in the way.