INTERNATIONAL STUPIDITY:Social networking site abuse [Part Two]

International stupidity is a display of folly, crudeness and infantile behaviors in one way or the other on a larger spectrum, in which people are disappointed concerning the ways in which the behavior is being exhibited. This can be easily observed on social networking sites like Face book. There are people who don’t care to say anything or post anything on a website, no matter how unreasonable it may be. Most common example is the display of pictures of nudity, ridiculous actions, rude comments, racist comments, rude statements and so on. Other examples can be found in several other areas in the way some people appear as a group, in the way they pose in their pictures, in how they talk about what they don’t know, write or blog about topics, discuss about certain issues, subjects or something which  they don’t fully understand .

Although, I am not a human behavior expert, I have observed that it does not require more than a level of common sense to weigh whatever you are sending out to the public before doing so. Stupidity springing from boredom, idleness, laziness, and so on; these in turn spread in time through idle moments into Social networking sites and blogs all over the internet. It later transform into abuse. The abuse could come in various forms. An abuse could go beyond a mere abuse of privilege, abuse of access, an abuse of people, abuse of human rights and son on. The display of stupidity in general can go to a larger scale from mind level into an international scale. All in the name of doing something “weird”; some people have become internationally stupid. They do some things ignorantly which they may never have realized that may be stupid in form. Pictures, comments, articles could be posted on the internet which could infringe on the rights of others. When they should actually be what will add values, teach morals and entertain other people irrespective of the distance or region they are on the planet earth. When stupidity moves to an international level it is catastrophic in that the whole world now seems to know how much of wisdom the fellow needs to live through life. Most comments and posted videos are bizarre such that you tend to laugh uncontrollably at times when you read from people you feel should know better.

So here is the point,if you don’t want to be an international fool who uncovers his her nakedness in the public to the disgrace of his person; i will advise you ask God for wisdom to live life. You can live a life of impact through addition of value to others rather than being an internationally stupid person. Pray for grace to relate with other people wherever they are irrespective of race, distance, affinity or closeness of ties. The writer of the book of James in the scripture says “if any man lacks wisdom let him ask from the Lord who gives liberally without denying or withdrawing his gifts.

Repositioning for love sake…

So many people value relationships as if it’s everything life entails. When it comes to marital relationship some people ask if it is truly possible to get what you really want in a relationship. And I daresay yes and No! You get what you are prepared for, and what you never imagined you will! Nevertheless, you will need a marital relationship somewhere down the road. There is one common thing I have heard people who are searching for suitors were told to do. I tell them to do the same thing; however I always advice further by telling them to actually describe their kind of person but not just for the sake of putting it down in black and white on paper as if engraved stones. I advice that, they should not be rigid concerning the details on such paper…I tell them to paint their ideal suitor’s attributes clearly on paper but never describe and expect a perfect figure. The reason for that is that I have found out that just like me; many people may be confused at first about finding their mates. While I was still single; I did not know what I wanted in a relationship. I was confused at first. I was just wishing for the best in my entire search. I was just hoping it turns out well. However, I determined to “prepare” myself to hook the best possible mate that may fit my lifestyle irrespective of who she turns out to be. However, my guess was not enough…I missed it more than once before I got delivered from day dreaming the most ideal experience. You may want to ask that why must we paint the ideal suitors clearly firstly? It’s that our desires might be clarified. So that what is in our mind can be revealed to us [ourselves]. This is so that we can know what we may likely get. Moreover, in order to avoid getting something contrary to the expected desire. When we write down the description of who we want; we give a command, an instruction to our hearts. We instruct our own mind and spirit to chase the exact picture that is put down. Our subconscious goes to work of itself and their ultimate search is our respective mates!

The truth is this. By describing who we want to marry on paper. We have actually described our own self or/and who we want to become, who we may become later. This description will help us get to an understanding of ourselves better. What is lacking in us that we are trying to fill up. And sometimes, they are actually what others are also looking out for in us. We would have shot ourselves in the foot if we will only expect it from others and not prepare to give it to them. It is not just in knowing what fits us but who we should desire to fit in with? This will really help us to make necessary changes that will suit our suitors. Once they have appeared. The ideal person described on a paper is who you need to strive to become. This is likely who you may never meet especially if you are looking out for it in others rather than look inwards to change into that person yourself. Becoming the person who you want to marry is changing your attitude. If all you do is to write it down for your subconscious without striving at changing into the person on your own. You will record that information and get frustrated waiting while for the person to show up. Why? Because you will be judgmental and critic of all that show up at your love-door. You will find fault in almost everyone that you meet immediately. It may even get worst that you may think that your kind of person does not exist or they are never around you. You will go out everyday thinking it is impossible to meet that person.

However, if you work on yourself with that information and begin your love search process patiently but actively; you will find that person you dream of marrying. After meeting people who have tried to describe their kind of suitor-to-be but who are not seeing any result at all. I ask them that how much time are they giving to networking, meeting new people, volunteering, serving others, joining causes, going out. In what ways are they socializing? We must realize that it matters how we socialize, where exactly do we socialize and when? How do I mean? If after you have sincerely answered the following questions and still not seeing any result yet; then you would have to check how much, how hard and how long do you pray for who you want to marry? Do you think that with the way you are presently living your life; you can really meet someone of such description and caliber? A quote says: “If a man cannot change a situation; the best thing is to change his own self.” Considering where you go daily; do you think people of such description are found there? Why do you go there, who do you spend most of your time with? Does it correlate with who and what you have on paper? Can the person you describe on paper come over to meet you there at the place you spend most of your time? If no is your answer? Then it is time to change your life! Change your lifestyle, habit, hobbies, et.al. If your answer is no; then its time to relocate to a place where you can meet that person or you deliberately go out to visit such places where you can meet him/her. Change can be difficult but if you are so sure concerning the picture of your desired mate. You are on the route there once you change where you spend most of your time and with who you spend most of your quality time. It is time for repositioning. This is what the law of repositioning is all about. Do you really know what you want? To know who and what you want; you need to really know who you are before you can know who will blend with you…Do you really know how to get who you want? How can I get what I want? How to get what you want? You may need to upgrade your life, change yourself, and become self aware, attractive, friendly. Everyone needs a friend; you need to be warm and pleasant person. Be someone who is more interested in other people than in himself or herself. You need to make yourself into one whom everybody wants to be around. Become vast, be advanced, wise and someone everybody wants to recommend for others to meet, and hang around with. Be generous, kind and caring. Don’t ask too much from people but always look out for ways to give to them. Put on smile more often. Become genuinely concerned about how it’s going with other people. Be concerned about opposite sex. Some people avoid relating with opposite sex yet they want to marry…Contrary to the common saying that the quickest way to an uncommon man’s heart is through his belly; it is through his dreams and visions. He is more drawn towards a lady who can support and help to further his cause, ideas and ideals. Not just his belly!

You may want to ask that how can I go for what I want? Maximize opportunity of every meeting with people. If you have found him or her; try to become friends. Then, always try to part with good feeling, leave a positive impression. This does not have to be forcefully made but consciously done; till it becomes second nature. You can learn this by practice. In the process of going for what they want some people pretend when in actual fact they are interested in a person. They say no when they mean to say yes. Be true to yourself. Some people ask their friends whether or not to marry a person they love in their heart. You need to ask God only and not your friend. Your friend may be jealous and therefore advise you wrongly.

You may want to ask: where can I find what I want. I daresay don’t go to mosque if you want to marry a pastor. Don’t go to a strip bar, if you want a religious mate. Don’t go to studio if you are not trying to date an artiste. Visit a gym, register there; if you want a physically built lover. Be the change you want to see.

You may want to ask that how will I know that I have gotten what I want?A Chinese quote says that “when we get near home, it will appear.” By the time you get there, you will know that you are there; you will be fulfilled and happy, you may not have all the money in the world, but you will have peace. Does that mean that you will not feel like seeking someone else? Does that put an end to all desire? No! But you will choose not to seek further; in order to protect what and who you already got. You will direct your desire at your lover forever by choosing to consciously date him/her forever…You may say that: but I don’t want to make a mistake of dating a wrong person. This is a common saying amongst singles; people don’t want to make any mistake, the only way we learn to make a good decision is through our bad decisions. The lessons from the bad decisions we have made; are sometimes the guide into good decisions. But you cannot become un-married once you are married. So what you can do in order not to make a costly mistake is to pray. You can’t keep your life on the hold, you have to act and make one decision. Prayerfully put your best into it and see how it goes. When you are in a wrong relationship you will know, then you will leave, but that should not be an excuse for not going into one…How to attract what you want is by becoming a broad minded. Make yourself into what and who you want to marry. Work on your own self as if a raw material. Read books, listen to self help, personal development audio CDs, tapes, read the scripture to sharpen up your spirit more. Work on your personality. Dress well neat. Dress attractive and modestly. People will see you physically first before they appreciate what is inside of you. If you don’t talk, I may not know what is inside you; but I can conclude about who you are through the way I see you dressed. Absorb what you’ve got. Become an absorbent of love. This is by not letting go of your relationship. Don’t allow any little fox to spoil your vine. Tend it consciously look after your relationship. Look out more and more for his or her interest .its usually harder to sustain heights, relationship, fortune because we tend to relax and become numb to the things we did to get there.

However, when we become inconsiderate of the feelings of the people we claim to truly love. When we neglect those who have actually done so much for us; then relationship breaks, many things are lost, of all those things; the irredeemable lost of all is the time invested. this is why we must watch our relationship closely for moulds, when it start getting moldy, it means we are not taking note, we are not taking care of important areas; it should be noted that relationships don’t break in one day; it happens gradually. Retaining what you have gotten is important. It’s usually a challenge for most people to retain what belongs to them [or what should have belonged to them] Attitude is one of the how to retain what you have gotten. Prayer is another. Don’t let your emotion get the best of you. Don’t give a foothold to the devil; communicate! Communicate! And communicate! Learn it; be a good listener; be a giver; the process will continue almost all over again as if you are just trying to woo the person all over again; you need to remake the bed of love, its like baking a cake; you will have to mix all the ingredients all over as you did while trying to win his heart; express yourself to him/her let the person feel loved and important. Don’t delay any compliment till another day say it now; give it now! Don’t postpone that visit, gift, give it now. Learn to say sorry when you are wrong; many relationships have broken up just because of that three letter word. Apologies don’t make you cheap or weak; it means you are strong enough to be soft. Pride makes people avoid apologies; it makes us loose much more in the end. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

what will you give up, to hook up in a relationship?

The most important question I want you to sincerely answer is this: What am i going to give up to get hooked up?  Recently, i was in a conversation with a lady who is already 40. She said that it is her path to be single. She has chosen to be unmarried and has accepted single hood. She was waiting for “the one” to come. And she had waited for 40 years now. It seems so funnily-sad because sometimes; through our attitudes and ignorance we are actually chasing people away from us while we are thinking of how to attract them.

I don’t really think everybody will get marry even though everybody deserved to be married. Everybody cannot get that golden wedding ring in their hands. Everybody cannot be addressed with a Mr. or Mrs. It is not a matter of scarcity of mate. It is much more than that…Why should everybody marry? When some people cannot give the time it requires to create friendships that could possibly lead into courtships that will end up in happy marriage life? It is never possible for everybody to get married.

Some people who claimed to be hurting and wanting marriage desperately snob their prospects. They cannot create time outs even on Sundays or on public holidays? How can singles change their marital status when they are not hurting enough? It is not possible! What will you give up to hook up? Is the question every serious single individual must ask. It must be sincerely answered. If you are really seeking a relationship; there is a way to get it. Almost anything can be achieved in life. It only takes knowledge of the right strategies.

In order to get hooked up; you must be ready to change yourself. And change is what most people dislike. You must change your perspective of people and things. You must  rearrange your goals and adjust your priorities. When you cannot change a situation, the best and the only wise thing to do is to change yourself. It is of essence to be friendly. It is important to be generous. It is vital to be caring and kind. You need to look out for ways to care for, and care about other people despites your tight schedules. You don’t have to wait to be reached; rather you need to reach out to others in any way you can.

The law of reciprocity still stands. Every good turn deserves another. Learn people skills, basic courtesies and more. Gradually you will earn enough trust with people. Those people you relate with on daily basis may talk about you to someone who will desire you. That will make some new people accept you into their circle of influence.

Most importantly; you must be sincere with yourself. People see through you when you are pretending. Although, they may never tell you. So, do everything out of goodwill. The law of seed time and harvest still holds. What you sow in kindness will be reaped somehow. It is important to give time and also appear more attractive every where you go. Speak up to people; don’t shut your mouth all day! Ask about their welfare, their life, work, family, academics and hobbies. Get to know them more. Discuss around their areas of interests. As you change yourself; you will change your marital-world. Don’t just change your wardrobe and remain indoors. Get out and go to places where you can be seen. Visit people and places alone; so that conversation can easily happen and flow between you and the significant other. It is more important you change your routine, your attitude and your mind! Make friends intentionally. Keep up the relationship through follow up.Be open and vulnerable.Don’t be paranoid. And you will be happily hooked up in a relationship.

Husband on the run!

This piece of writing is a key way of solving some common dating problems. It is how to handle unreciprocated love while dating. It is a way of helping those whose men are about checking out. For all those ladies who are trying hard to win a man’s heart. How to know when to let go and move on with your life .Are you a lady in relationship with a man that appear to be your charming prince but he is not responding to your love and advances as you expected? Have you observed that he is always giving excuses of why he forgot certain important dates that matter in your life? Is he avoiding to be introduced to your family? Did you feel that he is on the run like some have fled from you in the past? They left you heart broken and you feel that all men are the same. You are now convinced that: there are no sincere men out there?

Is this guy showing you mixed actions and confusing reactions? Is he behaving in a split image personality kind of? Is he showing a side today and another side tomorrow? Is he playing double roles? He is playing a lover and an enemy at another time? Is his tactics difficult to be freed from? Is he showing those traits that make you feel that you need to do more to win him over completely? Is he becoming an unreliable lover suddenly? Is it that his image keep coming to you in your dreams despites your understanding that he is cheating on you? And you are finding it difficult to be free from him? And characteristics becoming totally confusing?

Is it that he tells you at a point that you are the only one he loves, that he will never leave you, that he will pluck the moon for you but at another time, he says he is skeptical or he wants to move on into something new? That he is not even sure of his future? That he does not know for sure if he really wants to settle down yet? He is he the kind of guy you want, such that he is just the perfect match for you but you are constantly struggling over him? Such questions and more? You are not alone.

You see the way to pin him down is not by manipulations. It is not in forcing him to consent into get married to you sooner than his convictions. You see when a guy ask you that how can he mange his time? Or he is trying to figure out his life; or he needs a space to think, or he is always too busy to attend to you, those may be red signals that he is about checking out. So how do you know for sure that he is on the run? If:

· He stops giving you enough attention,

· When he cannot introduce you to new friends as the lady in his life,

· When he cannot take out on occasions,

· When he sneak out to places you normally ought to have gone together

· when he tries to dodge you when attending a reunion party

· when he fails to sit with you at events or he fails to speak with you there

· When he is not ready for serious talk

· When he is evasive about any straight hearty to heart talk or discussion

· When he leaves you to take your decisions alone without advising you as before

· When he fails to take up responsibilities

· When he stops paying the bills or he starts to pay the bills he would have allowed you to pay

So how do you stop him when he is on the run?

Firstly you ought to stop hiding from the truth. If you are obsessed, face it. Seek help. And get over it. Don’t pretend that it is truest love when it is not even a love in the first place. Confirm if the feelings are mutual. Realize that forcing him to have sex, go into untimely marriage and more. These are not the solution. It is not forcing a pregnancy on him; it is not one of those. Let go and let God

True love does not have to be forced. You don’t have to struggle for it .it is simply earned. Money cannot buy it or pay for it. When it is truest love, God is involved. When God is in it; you are at peace with it and in it. If you are indeed true lovers who are meant to be forever; you will know it in your heart. When its true love your mind will not struggle about it. You won’t be confused.

When it is true love; you will embrace counsel, truth and instructions concerning it. You won’t be trying to be defensive about it. You wont think that people who wants you to get over confusion are trying to snatch you away from him or that they all wanted your relationship to break up so that they can smile and laugh at you. If it is truest love you will see things objectively from another angle. You will be fulfilled because; it’s more than any emotion. It’s more than what he says; it’s what you know and you will be convinced about .there will be no shadow of doubts. You just know that you know and you know!

If it is true love you won’t be trying to cope, you just fit in perfectly. No struggling for it to stay. Your arguments wont become fighting .your fighting wont be prolonged for days, weeks and months unnecessarily. It won’t be that you could not just stop thinking of him. Your reasoning and feelings would have combined to show you it is real. True love doesn’t have to stop you from facing your life and doing some other things that will make you progress in life. True love is not what makes you feel abandoned. It’s what lifts you up. It comes to you where you are and take you onwards to where you are supposed to be.

Most first impression don’t always turns true

Are you also one of them?
you must have heard the saying that:first impression last long.Lie! first impression dont always last long…people are met in their bad moods on a very stressful day and they dont glow as they normally would have;so some shallow ,prejudiced ,ignorant people could conclude about that single encounter that such a very stressed person or group of people are not nice at all.  i stopped saying i know people until i have studied them for long.
just like me,you would easily pass by greatness without stopping to look closer if you are not very careful…it was the same case when i met my Babe ,i was in the university then …i was thinking that all that glitters were gold,because she was not the loud type …i easily concluded that may be she was not good at all…a lot of time ,we  fall into thesame trap.
i am so happy God dont work with man’s silly intentions and He does not grant every desire all the time…i would have missed this lady forever…as fate would have it ,She turned out to be the most beautiful queen of my heart today…she is so brilliant that we co-author a book together.Her immense contribution to my life is so great.I am happy that my first impression was wrong at the end of the day.Her temperament was such that revealed a very quiet person but she ended up being the great lady of depth and i am happy today as we are having best of times…the future is bright with her and i am grateful to God for her.So don’t conclude about a recipe until you have tasted it!